Our friend the film critic likes to do all his filing in clear-plastic, envelope-style sheets, secured in binders from Muji. What?!?!?! You don’t know Muji? Well, soon you will. A Japan-based retailer -- with over 300 stores in its homeland, and another 69 stores around the world -- Muji sells environmentally conscious, minimalist housewares, paper goods, furniture, clothing, fabrics, accessories, and all kinds of things that you never knew you’d need or want, but need or want the minute you see them at Muji. And they’re cheap -- really cheap. Everything has a very less-is-more look and is well designed and clever. Muji will be opening in the Renzo Piano-designed new New York Times building at 620 Eighth Ave. btw. 40th & 41st Sts. Muji is the first tenant to sign a retail lease for the building, and is expected to open for the holiday season this year. (The name comes from the Japanese words mujirushi ryohin, which more or less means "no-brand quality goods.")

Uh-oh. We’re in deep cocoa trouble. Chocolatier Jacques Torres has just signed a lease to open his third Gotham emporium right across the street from -- dum-da-dum-dum -- our residence. Bring in the guys in the hazmat suits for damage control.  The new shop will be on Amsterdam Ave. just north of 73rd St., within punting distance of the 72nd Street subway stop and Verdi Square.  It will be 1,000 square feet -- in other words, just large enough to sell more chocolate than you could eat in a year. Stay tuned; we’ll be getting more particulars and an opening date...so you can mark your calendar and we can start the diet -- so we’ll all be ready for the maestro when he starts tempering that chocolate on the UWS.